10 ways to tell if you drink too much coffee:

1. you answer the door before people knock;
2. juan valdez named his donkey after you;
3. the only kitchen appliances you own are made by Mr. Coffee;
4. you ski uphill;
5. you get a tax deduction for all the coffee you bought;
6. you get a speeding ticket even when parked;
7. you speed walk in your sleep;
8. you haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse;
9. for vacation, you visit the Maxwell House;
10. you're so jittery that other people use your hands to blend their margaritas